Many who know me are aware that yesterday, June 4, was the day my latest book was published and became available on Amazon. My team and I exceeded the goals I had set for the launch of Choosing Me Now, and I was extremely pleased with the amount of book sales. Many people helped me get the word out by sharing social media posts and conversing with the people in their lives. It was a big day for me, and it’s just the beginning!
Choosing Me Now is a message the world is ready to hear. I once heard a neuroscience speaker say that it feels much better to do for others than to do for ourselves. I don’t know if this is true or how it is measured, but I believe it’s a necessary trait for humankind. If it didn’t feel good to care for another person before yourself, parents wouldn’t prioritize their children and our species would not have survived. However, that trait may no longer serve us as it did in the past.
There is a very broad range of behaviors between the two extremes of being completely selfish and giving up your own needs to please those around you. Naturally, parents will still prioritize their children. When they don’t, extended family or agencies will step in. But how many of us take nurturing to an extreme? There was a time in my life where I would do practically anything anyone asked me to do no matter I had on my agenda. I sacrificed money, sleep and time I could never recoup just to help others, but it came at my own expense. I was rundown, overweight and unhealthy.
I knew I needed to make changes, to engage in self-care, but I really didn’t know what that entailed. Everything I found on the subject was about getting enough rest, eating healthy and exercising. Those things weren’t my problem nor were they my priority at that time. In order to prioritize your health, you need to believe you are worth prioritizing, even if it means saying no to others you care about. As a high connection person, I live to make others happy, so this was an especially hard lesson for me to learn.
The most amazing lesson from my launch day of Choosing Me Now, wasn’t how many people need to learn about Strategic Self-Care… I already knew that. Instead, it was about how many people were ready, willing and able to help me accomplish my dreams! One of the things I write about in the book is the Law of Reciprocity: If you are always the giver or always the taker, you block those in your life from satisfying their half of the reciprocity equation. I always thought of myself as a giver. When people would try to give back to me, I wouldn’t let them. I felt like I was so fortunate in my life that it was up to me to provide for others, but I forgot that others may also want to give to me.
Last October, when I had my face-to-face team meeting, we were discussing how to market and promote Choosing Me Now. My team members convinced me there were many people who would be happy to help me. I wondered, why would people take time from their busy lives to help me? My team told me I was generous with others and they would want to reciprocate. Asking for help was a bit of a foreign concept to me. Of course, when I was in a wheelchair with two broken ankles, I was amazed by the number of people who volunteered to help me. I don’t know why this was such a difficult concept for me grasp.
When the time came, I made two posts on social media and had people volunteering to help me again. More than 30 people agreed they liked my book enough to promote it to their friends. I had had several pre-launches before June 4, so many of my friends and customers had read the book already. One woman I know through the Professional Women’s Network purchased six copies to give to family members! So, I had people who knew the power of Choosing Me Now.
With their help, my book had a great showing yesterday on Amazon. At 8 a.m., my book was ranked at 113,133. By 9 p.m., Choosing Me Now was 402nd in the personal transformation category and 37,381 overall. This progress couldn’t have happened in just one day without the help of those who believe in me, my work and this message.
The other wonderful thing that happened is that Marci Shimoff agreed to endorse the book. I absolutely love and support her work as the author of Happy for No Reason and Love for No Reason. She understands how important self-care is and was happy to endorse my work.
All in all, the main lesson I’ve learned from all of this is to not be worried about imposing on people when you ask for help. Many times, people are just waiting to identify a way to help you. If they don’t want to help you, they won’t, so you aren’t imposing at all. Other lessons from this launch involve the belief that putting good things into the world will cause good things to come back to you. Also, believe in the goodness of others to shine through. And finally, stretch yourself and set your goals bigger than you think you can reach. As Norman Vincent Peale said, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” And as hockey-great Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
My heart is full of gratitude today. I want to end with a sincere thank you to everyone who helped me with this project, starting with my team: my cover designer, Denise Daub; my editor and interior designer, Veronica Daub; my social media person, Crystal Alston; my marketer, Jennifer Stoner; and my friend who came through in a pinch, and Biljana Dimovski. Secondly, I want to thank my over 30-person street team who helped me with my social media. Finally, I want to thank everyone who told people about my book, shared any social media about it, or just cheered me on from the sidelines. I could not have done it without your support and positive energy.