Today I spoke with a woman taking my four-day training. She is trying to figure out why she is staying in an unhealthy relationship. She doesn't have self-esteem issues. She says she is perfectly comfortable being alone, however she maintains a relationship with her husband even though they have been separated for two years.
This woman, call her Susan, has been married for ten years. She has been waiting for her husband to become the man she knows he is capable of being. Throughout their relationship, he has shown her glimpses of being a wonderful, supportive Prince Charming, however, those glimpses have been fleeting.
Two years ago, she and her husband separated but they keep reconnecting for brief periods at a time. He comes around, she lets him in and for about a week, he treats her really well. Then it's back to being a man who treats her very poorly.
When I asked her how long she had been waiting for him to change, she said ten years. I asked if she was willing to wait another ten and she said, "Hell no." She realizes she has to end her involvement with her husband in order to move forward to a healthy relationship with someone who really could be the man she wants in her life.
Are you in a relationship you would be better without? Why do you stay? Do you really think this person is going to change to become the person you really want?