"Conflict cannot survive without your participation."
— Wayne Dyer
This is partly what I am proposing to parents. When you
stop participating in the power struggle with your children, the power
struggle must go away. I am not advocating giving up, however. What I
am saying is that the best you can hope for with coercion is
compliance—and that’s the best you’ll get. Some of you may think,
great! As long as my child does what I tell him then everything will be
all right. However, I said compliance is the BEST you will get. There
are many less desirable outcomes.
When your child attempts to fight with you, don’t take
the bait. Maintain the connection. If that’s not possible, calmly take
a break from the situation with the understanding that you will talk
about it later. Conflict cannot exist in the absence of resistance.
Align yourself with your child’s resistance and you will have much less
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