Someone wrote in and asked what to do when a person’s
partner is pulling away. I think the first thing to do is recognize
that it is happening and ask your partner about it. Simply ask what
they need from you. Would they prefer to talk or to have their space
and then, honor whatever they say. During the time that follows, be as
positive in the relationship as you are able.  Generally, when someone
starts to pull away it could be for a variety of reasons—it may be
something to do with your relationship but it may not be related to you
at all. You need to create a place where your partner can feel safe,
loved, cherished, important, respected, and appreciated in spite of
whatever insecurity you may be feeling. Don’t add to whatever the
problem is by displaying needy behavior. This will only exacerbate the
problem. Look at what you are doing and ask yourself the question,
“Would I want to move closer to the person I am being right now?” If
the answer is no, then change your behavior.

This
is not a guarantee that things will work out. There are situations
where one person, for whatever reason, decides he or she needs to be
out of their current relationship. If this is the case, you will
survive this much better if you give up your resistance to what is.
There may be something even better in store for you if you maintain a
positive attitude. This is where the expression, “Don’t cry because
it’s over; smile because it happened” comes into play. Be appreciative
for the time you did have and know that there is more for you on the
horizon. Respect yourself! Don’t beg or otherwise attempt to coerce
someone to stay in a relationship with you who has obviously decided to
move on. Let be what will be and look ahead to a better day. If you
need help with this, see a counselor or hire a relationship coach.

At the Relationship Center, we offer a free 20-minute coaching call. You can click on the link and make arrangements for your free call to see if coaching would be beneficial for you.

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