It's time for the end of the alphabet of our Relationship ABCs. Learn the R-Z part to strengthen your relationship even more.
R = Respecting
Respecting is about listening to learn what your partner needs to feel respected and then giving it to him or her. Do not respect your partner the way you wish your partner would respect you. You will probably miss the mark as your picture of respect likely looks different. Focus on the platinum, rather than the golden, rule: "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them."
If you want to have a meaningful and healthy relationship, then you are going to have to trust your partner. Trust is one of the important building blocks of healthy relationships. Trust is a choice you make; it's not necessarily something a person must earn. That being said, however, if your partner has shown he or she is not trustworthy in certain areas, then trust him or her to continuing being who they have shown you to be. Don't expect a cat to turn into a dog.
U = Understanding
If I had to list the most important quality in a relationship, I would say it's the quest for understanding. I say "quest" because I don't believe you can ever fully understand another person but the desire to work at better understanding will help a relationship last in a very healthy atmosphere.
V =Value Each Other
There will be times when you aren't able to understand your partner because he or she does or sees something so differently than you do. When this happens, instead of devaluing your partner, value him or her as bringing something different or a new perspective to the situation.
In Secrets of Happy Couples, I talk about having a win/win/win whenever you are able to negotiate your differences so both of you are satisfied with the outcome. You win, your partner wins and the third win occurs because your relationship grows stronger for going through the process.
Be sure to schedule some X-rated time with your partner into the busyness of your life. Connecting with each other in a sexual way is an important part of maintaining closeness and it's a great stress reliever too!
Y = Yin / Yang
Maintain the balance in your relationship. Sometimes you will carry the load, sometimes your partner will and often you will share it. Balance is the key.
Z = Zest
Maintain your energy and excitement when you are with your partner so he or she knows how happy you are to be together.
Follow these Relationship ABCs so your relationship will sizzle, not fizzle!